Style

The Wardrobe Question
Getting Dressed When Identity is Shifting

Styling by Sarah Jenkins at Maison & Jardin

A woman in her thirties stands in a sunlit dressing room wearing a structured beige trench coat over a white silk camisole, looking thoughtfully at her reflection in a large mirror.

Vol. XII — Summer 2025

For the first year of motherhood, my closet felt like a hostile environment. I would wake up and stand before a wall of clothes that didn’t belong to me anymore — high-waisted maternity pants that had lost their purpose, silk blouses stained with spit-up, and heels that now seemed like instruments of torture rather than tools of empowerment.

I didn’t want to be "Mom" in a tracksuit. I didn't want to be "Professional Woman" in ill-fitting blazers. I wanted to be me, but the version of me that existed before 3:00 AM feeds and the unpredictable rhythm of a toddler’s day seemed to have been packed away in a box I couldn't find the key for.

This is the wardrobe question we don't talk about enough. It isn't just about sustainability or capsule wardrobes; it's about the profound, often invisible shift in identity that comes with a changing body and a shifting life stage. When your center of gravity changes, literally and metaphorically, your relationship with clothing has to renegotiate itself.

The New Capsule

The Trench

Structure that anchors you.

The Loafer

Comfort without apology.

The Silk

Softness against the skin.

I eventually realized that the key wasn't to find clothes that fit my old life, but to find clothes that fit my current reality. I stopped buying things that required ironing and started buying things that required only a quick shake. I swapped stiff denim for drapey cottons. I embraced the "mother uniform" of the elite: the perfect trench, the sensible boot, the scarf that doubles as a nursing cover.

It wasn't a regression. It was an evolution. My style became less about "looking good" for the world and more about "feeling good" for myself. It became armor for the chaos, a soft place to land after a long day of holding it all together. And in that quiet, intentional shift, I found a new version of myself again.

Clothing is the first armor we put on in the morning. When that armor shifts to protect a new kind of strength, we have to let the old fit go. Sarah Jenkins
SJ
About the Author

Sarah Jenkins

Sarah is a contributing style editor based in Brooklyn. She writes about the intersection of practicality and elegance for modern women navigating the chaos of parenthood. She believes that a well-dressed woman is a calm woman.

Read More by Sarah

More Stories
Lifestyle

The Art of the Sunday Reset

How one hour on Sunday morning can change the trajectory of your entire week.

By Emily Chen • 4 min read
Home

Curating a Calm Nursery

Why less decor often means more calm for both baby and parent.

By The Nexamom Team • 6 min read
Career

Returning to Work After Maternity Leave

Practical tips for bridging the gap between maternity leave and the office.

By Dr. Aris Thorne • 8 min read
Archive

Back Issue: Fall 2024

The issue dedicated to "The Second Act" — redefining identity after the baby years.

Order Print Issue